Eleanor Perry-Smith

A week ago today somebody walked into an art gallery in Cherry Creek North and stole a painting off the wall. Aside from the obvious lack of morality, here are a few unsettling things to consider: 1. It’s disappointing that small-time modern thieves aren’t even interesting. All the training, planning and romance in Entrapment comes crashing down when some moron can just stroll in, quietly un-hang an expensive painting and then stroll away. 2. The amateur burglar made a 77-year-old man his (or her, but probably his) victim. Witold-K didn’t even get to put up a fight. If he had, then it would also be clear that the burglar hadn’t seen this ad. But since they just took it while he wasn’t looking, once again, meth is not to blame.

A 1978 painting by the Polish artist.  

Some of you will remember how often we discussed the Panopticon theory. It seems Reverse Panopticon is now being applied to my never-ending encounter with camo shorts. This was sent to me from a friend’s iPhone and is a species I refer to as the elusive androgynous-camo. Note the sneaky crevice from which it was taken. Camos are everywhere if you just keep your eyes and heart open.

A few things you can expect to find in St. Louis:

1. Chuck Berry

2. Some of the nation’s best architecture. 

3. Camo shorts.

I am aware of the fact that America, while awesome, is host to the largest group of ungrateful brats in world history. We have gross abundance that we squander wastefully, and still have the nerve to ask for more. At the same time, many Americans appreciate their circumstances on a daily basis. So, at the risk of sounding like a spoiled brat, while also showing my gratitude toward innovation and the fact that I don’t need another guitar, I’d like to admit that this invention is pretty awesome…and I want one.

Robert Gullie’s dreamscapes are perfectly creepy and mutually beautiful. An interesting thing to note is that Gullie photographs his subjects in black and white, then adds color and shading by hand. This is one of my favorites. It’s titled “Horse Girl” and is the embodiment of an 8-year-old me on Easter Sunday, pretending to be something I’m not. 

This is it. The last color scheme. 

Awesome: White Ninja. 

Not Awesome: Shaun White’s hair. Reminds me of the opera singer Julia Migenes-Johnson.

Awesome: Black cowboys.

Not Awesome: Black widows. In fact, any spider, especially the ones that hide inside bunches of bananas.     I watched this clip with a scowl on my face the entire time.

Awesome: Things that are made to look like other things.

Not Awesome: Things that are supposed to be something but miss the point entirely.

Admittedly, I don’t see how purple went from being the most expensive color of dye in the world, only used by royalty, to being the laughing stock of all the other colors. But it did.

Awesome: Edward Norton in Death to Smoochy.

Not Awesome: When I was a kid not only did you wear your backpack on your back, you had to carry your toys too. Soon there will be a generation of people without biceps. 

No offense Roller Dolls…

Taking a break from looking at the good and bad side of colors, I’d like to promote a friend of mine who is infinitely awesome. Josh Blue is a nationally acclaimed comedian and on April 25th he’s doing a charity show for the Kemp Foundation. This foundation dedicates itself to the prevention and treatment of child abuse and neglect. At this point the ticket sales haven’t been so hot, so if you’re free that night it’s going to be hilarious and for a good cause. Just sayin.

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